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braunhi1

  24 days ago

Joke Day Tuesday!

There was a young couple very much in love. On the night before they were to be married, both were killed in an automobile accident. They found themselves at pearly gates of heaven being escorted by St. Peter. After a couple of weeks in heaven, the prospective groom took St. Peter aside and said, "St. Peter, my fiance and I are very happy to be in heaven, but we miss very much the opportunity to have our wedding vows celebrated. Is it possible for people in heaven to get married?"
St. Peter looked at him and said, "I am sorry, I have never heard of anyone in heaven wanting to get married. I am afraid you will have to talk to the Lord God Almighty about that. I can get you an appointment in 2 weeks time from Wednesday".
Come the appointed day, the couple was escorted by the guardian angels into the presence of the Lord God Almighty, where they repeated the request. The Lord looked at them solemnly and said, "I tell you what; wait a year and if you still want to get married, come back and we will talk about it again".
A year went by and the couple, still very much wanting to get married, came back. Again, the Lord God Almighty said, "I am so to disappoint you but you must wait another year, and then I will consider your request".
This happened year after year, for 10 years. Each time they reasserted their yearning to be married; each time God put them off for another year.
In the 10th year, they came before the Lord God Almighty to ask again. This time the Lord answered, "Yes, you may marry! This Saturday at 2 pm. We will have a beautiful ceremony in the main chapel. The wedding reception will be on me!"
The wedding went of without a hitch. The bride looked beautiful. The Buddha did the flower arrangements for which Moses wove simple yet elegant baskets. Jesus prepared the fish of course. All of heaven's denizen's attended, and a good time was held by all.
Tragically, but perhaps inevitably, within a few weeks, the newly weds realized they had made a horrible mistake. They simply couldn't stay married to one another so they made another appointment to see the Lord God Almighty. Grovelling and frightened they asked if they could get a divorce.
The Lord heard their request, looked at them and said, "Look, it took us 10 YEARS to find a priest up here in heaven. Do you have any idea how long it will take us to find a lawyer?"

I know this is long and if you have reached the end enjoyed it.

Please share if you have any or do you own topic.

Comments if you wish.
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Post

KT051

  19 days ago
Thanks always for the laughs B, hope you have a nice weekend. Reply
2 comments

ForeverYoung50

  24 days ago
Good one, and yes, worth the wait!
A newlywed couple wake up one morning on their honeymoon and the man suggests: “Darling, why don’t you brew us some coffee?”
The wife looks confused and says: “But that’s your task, honey.”
“What? Why?”
“It’s all over the Bible, dearest,” she tells him.
“The Bible says nothing about who’s supposed to be brewing coffee!”
The wife grabs hold of a copy and starts flipping pages at random: “See? It’s everywhere: Hebrews, Hebrews, Hebrews.”
Cheers...
Reply
1 comments

WoodyP

  24 days ago
Well worth the long read Ms B, brilliant. Reply
1 comments

gilliej

  24 days ago
Good One Braunhi. Thanks for sharing as always. Reply
1 comments

pagalu

  24 days ago
Great one. Reply
1 comments

Yvonner1994

  24 days ago
Hi Bob,
This is Alan next door.
I have a confession to make.
I've been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face, but I am at least now telling you in text as I can't live with myself a moment longer without you knowing.
The truth is I have been sharing your wife, day and night when you're not around.
In fact, probably more than you.
I haven't been getting it at home recently, but that's no excuse, I know.
The temptation was just too much.
I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies and forgive me.
It won't happen again.
Please suggest a fee for usage, and I'll pay you.
Regards, Alan.
THE ACTIONS
Bob, feeling insulted and betrayed, grabbed his gun, and shot his neighbor head.
He returned home where he poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa.
He took out his phone where he saw he has a subsequent message from his neighbor:
THE SECOND MESSAGE
Hi Bob,
This is Alan next door again.
Sorry about the typo on my last text.
I expect you figured it out anyway, that you noticed that darned Autocorrect changed 'Wi-Fi' To 'Wife'.
Technology hey?
Regards, Alan.
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4 comments

two2you

  24 days ago
A pair of newlyweds are having marriage problems.
They decide to meet with the Rabbi in order to prevent the termination of their very short relationship. The Rabbi asks the husband, "What has brought you to the point where you are not able to keep this marriage together?"
The husband says, "In the six weeks we've been together, we haven't been able to agree on one thing."
"Seven weeks," the wife says.
See I do know some cleans ones B!
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3 comments

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